dave strider (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
strideways) wrote2012-02-02 09:56 pm
strideways) wrote2012-02-02 09:56 pm
> Dave: Indulge species identity confusion.
[ Those in and out of Dave's room at the Otherhouse may have noticed that his entourage of Ninetales have been coddling a bright blue Squirtle egg. Still luckier individuals may have been around earlier today to witness the egg hatching, and the three Ninetales happily grooming their new friend.
Now some hours later, it has become apparent to Dave that there are certain... complications that may arise from allowing a baby Squirtle to imprint on a pack of full-grown Ninetales.
The feed comes on to the Squirtle, charging at a Ninetales on all fours. He's deflected with a flick of a tail, and goes scurrying over to another fox that's lounging on the floor nearby. She gives him a lick for his troubles, while the third one looks on from the safety of Dave's bunk.
As the Squirtle takes another run-up at his opponent, he growls and... barks.
Dave turns the camera on himself. ]
So this is the real-life story of Babe, Pig in the City, or some shit. My Squirtle thinks he's a baby Ninetales, which is about the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen get done. I'm sure they're gonna have a bunch of awkward conversations when he gets older.
'Mom, why do I only have one tail? Where's all my fur? The other kids made fun of my shell!'
He'll grow up thinking his 'dad' had an affair with a hot Blastoise. His two mommies just swept it under the rug; they don't like to talk about it because it means admitting they couldn't keep him satisfied between the two of them. They drink a lot, and their husband's never home. They just assume he's found himself a side of Venusaur ass or something.
[ The camera returns to the floor, where the Squirtle is being held firmly under the front paws of the lazy Ninetales on the rug, who's giving him a thorough bath. ]
I also got my breeder's license yesterday, which is pretty much awesome. I've basically got the potential for a metric fuckton of badass fire-breathing fluffmuppets and not much else right now. Guess I'll have to expand my breeding stock or something.
[ Swinging the 'Gear toward himself again, he moves to turn it off before he remembers something. ]
His name is Kanye, by the way. Thanks, Fef.
[ ooc; action for Otherhouse residents welcome! he's just in his room. switch from trainer to breeder was okayed by the mods. ♥ ]
Now some hours later, it has become apparent to Dave that there are certain... complications that may arise from allowing a baby Squirtle to imprint on a pack of full-grown Ninetales.
The feed comes on to the Squirtle, charging at a Ninetales on all fours. He's deflected with a flick of a tail, and goes scurrying over to another fox that's lounging on the floor nearby. She gives him a lick for his troubles, while the third one looks on from the safety of Dave's bunk.
As the Squirtle takes another run-up at his opponent, he growls and... barks.
Dave turns the camera on himself. ]
So this is the real-life story of Babe, Pig in the City, or some shit. My Squirtle thinks he's a baby Ninetales, which is about the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen get done. I'm sure they're gonna have a bunch of awkward conversations when he gets older.
'Mom, why do I only have one tail? Where's all my fur? The other kids made fun of my shell!'
He'll grow up thinking his 'dad' had an affair with a hot Blastoise. His two mommies just swept it under the rug; they don't like to talk about it because it means admitting they couldn't keep him satisfied between the two of them. They drink a lot, and their husband's never home. They just assume he's found himself a side of Venusaur ass or something.
[ The camera returns to the floor, where the Squirtle is being held firmly under the front paws of the lazy Ninetales on the rug, who's giving him a thorough bath. ]
I also got my breeder's license yesterday, which is pretty much awesome. I've basically got the potential for a metric fuckton of badass fire-breathing fluffmuppets and not much else right now. Guess I'll have to expand my breeding stock or something.
[ Swinging the 'Gear toward himself again, he moves to turn it off before he remembers something. ]
His name is Kanye, by the way. Thanks, Fef.
[ ooc; action for Otherhouse residents welcome! he's just in his room. switch from trainer to breeder was okayed by the mods. ♥ ]
Video;
Wow, they gave you a breeding license?
Video;
Video;
Video;
No, man, can you imagine the crazy fucking hellbeasts I could breed? Fire-breathing fucking fluffballs. They'd get out of their eggs with goddamn blowtorches.
[ He's apparently a little excited. ]
Video;
Video;
Video;
Video;
[ what are they talking about ]
Video; 1/3
Video; 2/3
What........?]
Video;
[She just recently had a conversation with John about human mating after all. She knows you have to be married first, whatever that means.]
Video;
What, you mean you don't wanna marry me?
Video;
Video;
Video;
Well I can't just go off doing the married thing with just anyone, you know?
Video;
I'm not 'just anyone.' We've been sharing a room for months. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Video;
Sure Dave, it means a lot. All of the lots. All of them. This room sharing is oooooooobviously serious business here. Or else we wouldn't have done it for months and months. But married? That's like a big step, right? And aren't we still young?
[She still doesn't even know what marriage is. Just the little bits John has told her.]
Video;
Well, yeah, but what's the point in waiting if you know there's never gonna be anyone else you wanna get hitched with?
Video;
Why don't we make this a done deal then. Get it over with. Obviously we're so compleeeeeeeetely perfect for each other.
Video;
[ He's already plotting. Ring Pops. He'd try to find someone to marry them, but he can't think of anyone who won't blow the whole thing up, so he'll tell her they're eloping, which is a very romantic sort of marriage that humans do sometimes. ]
Video;
Okay. We'll do this married thing, then. Then we'll be splitting all our profits for sure, right?
[She's got priorities here.]
Video;
[ Dave's grabbing his 'Gear and his coat. He's gonna have to go to the store for some Ring Pops. ]
Video;
[This could work out after all.]
Video → Action;
[ And then he cuts the video and tucks his 'Gear away, heading out of the house to the nearest store. There, he purchases a pair of Ring Pops (blue raspberry and cherry), and on the way back to the house, he scribbles up a 'contract' in the Paint program on his 'Gear. It reads something like this:
if vriska 'huge 8itch' serket and dave mufasa strider iii ever get unmarried dave totally gets all the kids
ps kids means eggs and baby pokemon
because serkets an unfit mother by way of being a scurvaceous pirate chick whod trade off her babies for a quick buck
sign this shit
x___________________
x___________________
no welshing
By the time he's pushing open the door of their room upstairs (and glancing surreptitiously around to make sure no one else is there), he's ready to get married. ]
Action;
Besides, if Dave tries any of that weird human mating on her, she's out. He won't even know what hit him.]
Action;
Action;
Action;