dave strider

[ Lo, what's this? Another network post? And by none other than Dave Casanova Strider himself.

He turns the 'Gear on to the sight of him standing outside what some might recognize as the Otherhouse in Goldenrod City. He's bending over a guitar case, which is seen in bits and pieces as he shifts the camera around while taking out the guitar. ]

So it's Valentine's Day, right? And since this place is like the Land of Roses and Romantic Blowjobs right now, I figure there's no better time to express my deepest bosom feelings for my best bro. Obviously a gesture this ironic can't go unseen, so I'm immortalizing it on the network.

[ He slips the guitar strap over his head, then backs up, handing the 'Gear to a Pokémon helper. (The cheerful 'Squirtle!' might give away Kanye's identity.) The camera pans from Dave, picking out a few notes, to the window above.

After an experimental array of notes, Dave begins playing. As the song starts, Kanye turns the 'Gear back to him to capture the performance, and when it finishes, returns to the window to catch a final shot of one John Egbert, looking out.

The feed ends to the sound of some bystanders' applause. ]

[ ooc; for action responses, feel free to be one of those bystanders who happened upon this charming little scene, or an Otherhouse resident looking out their own window to see what the chords are about!

tags won't be until tomorrow, though. sorry, guys! ♥ ]

[ Oh, look! A blurry thumb! The 'Gear is fumbled for a moment — looks like someone's having trouble holding onto it, or aiming it the right direction, at any rate.

When the camera steadies, the cameraman finally comes into view.

It's a bird! No, it's a... bunch of birds! It's... a really bad scarecrow?

Actually, it's Dave Strider. Guess who left his bird swag on?

Dave is almost literally covered in Murkrows. They're clinging to his clothes, perched all over his arms and his head and shoulders, sitting on his feet.... One of them, nestled in beneath his jaw on the right side, as cloooose as she can get, is wearing an orange ribbon around her neck. She looks like she's sulking. ]

Caught one of those dog Pokémon lurking around — Houndour, I guess. They're Fire- and Dark-type.

[ He's apparently determined to pretend the crows aren't even fucking there, because when one of them pecks at the 'Gear, he just moves it aside slightly and continues in the same tone of voice. ]

Was battling with my Gyarados, but I actually had to break out Tock to knock out a couple of them before I found one that wasn't level Fuck You, Strider. We're probably lucky they're not aggressive.

[ The ribboned Murkrow on his shoulder suddenly puffs herself up and lashes out at her neighbour, scattering a few crows for all of twenty seconds. They settle back down, with Dave's Murkrow looking unhappier than ever.

A few crows are lifted in front of the camera as he raises his left arm. If you're watching closely, he reaches up to scratch lightly at his Murkrow's talon. ]

And I'm pretty sure I saw a Gengar earlier. Those weren't around here before.

[ This is effectively a query: anyone know what's going on?

Before he can actually ask, though (if he was even going to), a bird on his left shoulder makes a grab for his shades. Dave jerks his head away, and his own Murkrow snatches at the sunglasses from the opposite side.

The 'Gear clatters to the ground, landing faceup and with an excellent, if fleeting, view of a crow flying off, an orange ribbon around her neck and a pair of sunglasses in one claw. A moment later, a hand covers the camera completely, and the feed shuts off. ]


[ Feel free to approach; he's near the north edge of Goldenrod. Just don't expect him to be very friendly — or look you in the eye. ]

[ The video feed comes on to a whirling myriad of colours and cacophony of sounds. When it finally steadies (somewhat), it becomes apparent that the 'Gear is being held by a bird Pokémon, flying overhead. Her trainer stands below, stopped for the moment and looking up at her. ]

Are you even fucking serious right now? You're stealing shit from me? What, are you gonna put a fucking bow on it and drop it on my head in fifteen minutes?

[ Close to the 'Gear, a Murkrow krows cheerfully. ]

It better be fucking wrapped, that's all I'm saying. If you're gonna steal my shit and pretend it's a gift for me, I want the whole nine yards. A nice card, too. Leave a little message inside, like, 'You're the coolest trainer, Dave! It means so much to me that you've put up with all my incredible bullshi—

[ He's cut off rather suddenly by a Pokéball at his waist bursting open. When the flash of light resolves, a Magikarp is on the ground, flopping frantically and karping at the top of its stupid lungs.

Dave takes a brief moment, slipping his hand beneath his shades to rub his eyes. When he drops his hand, he stares at the frenzied fish. ]

I'm gonna buy you a fucking leash if you keep doing this shit.

[ If he was going to return the Magikarp, he's already lost his chance. The 'Gear is circling tightly around the scene, and now sweeps closer, closer, closer—

and clatters to the ground, tumbling over a few times before landing faceup. You may catch a brief glimpse of the former cameramon carrying away her prize: a struggling orange fish.

Dave picks up the 'Gear, apparently unaware that it's on. ]

All that shit I said still holds! Sign the fucking card!

[ It's then that he glances down, and his mouth quirks downward briefly when he notices the 'Gear is recording. Only a beat passes before he speaks, nonchalantly. ]

Caught a Magikarp in Cherrygrove. It's been popping out of its ball all day, though. [ He turns the feed to follow his Murkrow and the fish through the sky. ] Maybe this is a better plan.

[ With the camera still on them, the bird finally loses her precarious grip on her struggling teammate, and the fish begins plummeting to Earth. Dave seems unconcerned, but as it approaches the ground, a beam of light shoots out from behind the 'Gear and returns the Magikarp safely. ]

Feathery asshole can't do anything right.