strideways | > Dave: Be the pied piper.

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> Dave: Be the pied piper.

[ Oh, look! A blurry thumb! The 'Gear is fumbled for a moment — looks like someone's having trouble holding onto it, or aiming it the right direction, at any rate.

When the camera steadies, the cameraman finally comes into view.

It's a bird! No, it's a... bunch of birds! It's... a really bad scarecrow?

Actually, it's Dave Strider. Guess who left his bird swag on?

Dave is almost literally covered in Murkrows. They're clinging to his clothes, perched all over his arms and his head and shoulders, sitting on his feet.... One of them, nestled in beneath his jaw on the right side, as cloooose as she can get, is wearing an orange ribbon around her neck. She looks like she's sulking. ]

Caught one of those dog Pokémon lurking around — Houndour, I guess. They're Fire- and Dark-type.

[ He's apparently determined to pretend the crows aren't even fucking there, because when one of them pecks at the 'Gear, he just moves it aside slightly and continues in the same tone of voice. ]

Was battling with my Gyarados, but I actually had to break out Tock to knock out a couple of them before I found one that wasn't level Fuck You, Strider. We're probably lucky they're not aggressive.

[ The ribboned Murkrow on his shoulder suddenly puffs herself up and lashes out at her neighbour, scattering a few crows for all of twenty seconds. They settle back down, with Dave's Murkrow looking unhappier than ever.

A few crows are lifted in front of the camera as he raises his left arm. If you're watching closely, he reaches up to scratch lightly at his Murkrow's talon. ]

And I'm pretty sure I saw a Gengar earlier. Those weren't around here before.

[ This is effectively a query: anyone know what's going on?

Before he can actually ask, though (if he was even going to), a bird on his left shoulder makes a grab for his shades. Dave jerks his head away, and his own Murkrow snatches at the sunglasses from the opposite side.

The 'Gear clatters to the ground, landing faceup and with an excellent, if fleeting, view of a crow flying off, an orange ribbon around her neck and a pair of sunglasses in one claw. A moment later, a hand covers the camera completely, and the feed shuts off. ]

[ Feel free to approach; he's near the north edge of Goldenrod. Just don't expect him to be very friendly — or look you in the eye. ]

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Oh yes, Dave. There is not a moment in time where I am not amazed by you. Simply your presence has me swooning, my heart a-flutter with nothing but the utmost exciting feelings knowing you are so near. Surely you can hear it now, can't you?

[[Watch as she performs a perfect, dramatic swoon. Oh Dave, look at what you do to your sister. You should be ashamed.]]

However, until I see disinfectant used on those lips, kisses will not be given. I refuse to indirectly kiss Ampora.

[ Dave takes in his sister's theatrics, obviously vastly amused and equally as pleased with himself. No shame here.

At her last remark, he actually laughs. ]

Implying that you'd kiss me if I disinfected my lips right now? I don't even believe you.

Oh really? Have I ever spoken an word of untruth to you before, dear brother?

[[Casting him a smirk as she enters the Department Store, she shrugs.]]

The first aid kit will surely include disinfectant.

[ He snorts. ]

I carry mouthwash in my bag, but I'm not sure if you think we'll need industrial-grade bleach or what.

You said you've already scrubbed your mouth prior to this, correct? Mouthwash will surely do at this point. Though using industrial-grade bleach as well surely wouldn't hurt.

[[She's trying to gauge where she should stop, before this becomes a challenge. Challenges were easier online, because there's very little probability they'd ever have the chance to carry it out, after all.]]

[ Oh, that time has passed, dear sister.

Dave glances around, pauses, and crooks a finger at Rose as he digs in his bag with the other. He produces a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash, which he takes a swig from with flourish, and leads her toward the nearby bathroom as he rinses his mouth with it.

After nearly a full minute — can't be too careful with those Ampora germs — he excuses himself with a gesture and disappears into the bathroom. He emerges moments later, minty fresh and smug all over again. ]

Sufficient?

[[Oh lord. She watches him as he uses the mouthwash and disappears into the bathroom. Okay, keep your cool Lalonde. This is nothing.

When he reappears, she's smirking, arms folded across her chest.]]

Enough.

[[Okay, how to do this. Can't hesitate too long. Sauntering over to him, she leans against him, wraps her arms around his shoulders, and brings her face to hover just inches away from Dave's.]]

Ready, Strider?

[[She doesn't wait for an answer though, closing the gap...

For just a quick familial peck on the lips.

Yup.

Though she's not removing herself from his person, even though she seems to be done with the kiss. You are apparently comfortable to lean against, Dave.]]

[ It's not that he's expecting her to back out — no, he knows her better than that — but really, he hasn't fully grasped the reality of the situation by the time it's happening.

The reality of the situation is that he, Dave Fucking Strider, His Imperial Ironic Fucking Majesty, is being kissed by a very pretty girl. That's half the reality, anyway, and that's the half that hit him first. His heart does a little thing, like some Olympic-level gymnast butterflies are practicing on the pommel horse inside his chest.

And then one of those butterflies sprains its wrist or some shit, because his heart crashes against his ribcage the next second and the rest of it catches up with him.

Jesus jumpfucking Christ, Strider, she's your sister.

And she's not kissing him anymore, so he breathes (slowly, subtly, do not look at me Lalonde I've been breathing this whole time) and glances down at her. She's still way too close, but it's far beneath his considerable pride to admit he's at all uncomfortable. ]

It's cute how you say 'ready,' like that was some worldshaking millennial fucking syzygy of a kiss I should've prepared myself for. I've totally had better.

[ That, or this was his first kiss. Your call, Lalonde. ]

I'm sorry to disappoint, Strider. [[Chuckling, she rests her head against his shoulder, wanting to see how far she can push his boundaries before he finally caves and relents.]]

How about this? Three options. One, once I give John a stellar kiss that sweeps him off his feet, I'll allow you to listen to his surely amazing retelling of the event and pretend that was the kiss I had given you. Two, I offer your future girlfriend kissing lessons to be sure that your second kiss won't be as lame as your first. Or three, I treat you to ice cream where we share a sundae, and you can pretend every spoonful is an indirect kiss.

[[Your turn, Strider.]]

[ He's rolling his eyes a little behind his borrowed shades and trying to make himself relax (but she's leaning on him, and no one ever touches him like this, and he's pretty sure he prefers it that way, maybe) when she starts talking. He drops his gaze on her, listening with growing amusement.

At least until the 'second kiss' part. There's a very fleeting moment of shock, if she's lucky enough to catch the expression — his lips part and his eyebrows shoot up over the edge of the sunglasses before he manages to compose himself. She is such a bitch. He can't even tell if she really believes that, or if she's just testing him.

The only appropriate response is to kill three birds with one stone (without harming any actual birds, of course): he'll address her surreptitious challenge, present her with one that she can't accept, and he'll get some goddamn ice cream before this is over. ]

Option two sounds appealing, actually. Am I allowed to watch while you teach Ampora how to kiss?

[[That is a low blow, Strider, and she doesn't like the implications of that. You are not dating that douchebag, if she has anything to say about it. However, she pushes that aside in favor of their current bout. She hums thoughtfully a moment, fingers idly (and perhaps just a little purposefully) playing with the hair at the back of his neck, as she tries to decide how best to address that.]]

I never said I would be the teacher, Dave. Merely that lessons would be offered. Though I must say, I hadn't guessed you'd be so interested in watching your sister and your love interest kiss, but then I suppose the fact men enjoy watching lesbians make out isn't a dis-proven fact for a reason.

[ Okay, that— Dave's head cocks to one side, and he just barely stops his shoulders from rising in a defensive reaction to her hand at the back of his neck. It's bizarrely intimate and just a little ticklish, and he's starting to wonder if she's even still being ironic about this. ]

Absolutely. If you're ever feeling friendly toward Jade and you wanna take your pants off and have a pillow fight with her or something, let me know.

[[She just smirks, continuing her assault on his neck, though rather than playing with his hair, she's moved on to a gentle massage it seems. When has she done anything for irony, Dave?]]

I'll be sure to. I'm sure I would be able to talk John into joining as well. Then all your fantasies would be a reality, wouldn't they?

[ That's somehow more tolerable, maybe because the ticklish factor is gone. Even so, he's giving her unsure looks from behind those shades. ]

Absofuckinglutely.

But since you're not planning on doing any hands-on teaching with Ampora, I think I'll have to scrap option two. High risk, low reward. Let's go with door number three, instead.

I like option three better myself. [[Okay, so they probably have to move soon. Meaning she should likely stop hanging off of the poor boy and actually focus on this whole "let's buy you a first aid kit so we can fix you up. And I guess something cheap and ugly for Ampora" thing.

...yup. She'll do that moving thing in a moment.]]

After we patch you up, I would be more than happy to take you out. Provided your afternoon is free enough to spend time with a Lalonde, of course.

[ Ice cream secured. Dave smirks a little, glancing down at her. ]

Got plenty of time to spend with a fellow Strider, sis. But I'm starting to think you're just scheming to get me in a booth with you so we can play footsie or something. I know it's hard to keep your hands off me, but really....

You know it doesn't take a booth to play footsie in, Dave. And as appealing as you and your feet may be, I'm reserving such folly for someone else. That doesn't make this disappointment number two, does it?

Believe it or not, I'm perfectly okay with you not playing with my feet. You're safe for now.

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> Dave: Be the pied piper.

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Action; I regret nothing.

Action; no apologies. ♥

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