strideways | > Dave: Be the pied piper.

[ Oh, look! A blurry thumb! The 'Gear is fumbled for a moment — looks like someone's having trouble holding onto it, or aiming it the right direction, at any rate.

When the camera steadies, the cameraman finally comes into view.

It's a bird! No, it's a... bunch of birds! It's... a really bad scarecrow?

Actually, it's Dave Strider. Guess who left his bird swag on?

Dave is almost literally covered in Murkrows. They're clinging to his clothes, perched all over his arms and his head and shoulders, sitting on his feet.... One of them, nestled in beneath his jaw on the right side, as cloooose as she can get, is wearing an orange ribbon around her neck. She looks like she's sulking. ]

Caught one of those dog Pokémon lurking around — Houndour, I guess. They're Fire- and Dark-type.

[ He's apparently determined to pretend the crows aren't even fucking there, because when one of them pecks at the 'Gear, he just moves it aside slightly and continues in the same tone of voice. ]

Was battling with my Gyarados, but I actually had to break out Tock to knock out a couple of them before I found one that wasn't level Fuck You, Strider. We're probably lucky they're not aggressive.

[ The ribboned Murkrow on his shoulder suddenly puffs herself up and lashes out at her neighbour, scattering a few crows for all of twenty seconds. They settle back down, with Dave's Murkrow looking unhappier than ever.

A few crows are lifted in front of the camera as he raises his left arm. If you're watching closely, he reaches up to scratch lightly at his Murkrow's talon. ]

And I'm pretty sure I saw a Gengar earlier. Those weren't around here before.

[ This is effectively a query: anyone know what's going on?

Before he can actually ask, though (if he was even going to), a bird on his left shoulder makes a grab for his shades. Dave jerks his head away, and his own Murkrow snatches at the sunglasses from the opposite side.

The 'Gear clatters to the ground, landing faceup and with an excellent, if fleeting, view of a crow flying off, an orange ribbon around her neck and a pair of sunglasses in one claw. A moment later, a hand covers the camera completely, and the feed shuts off. ]

[ Feel free to approach; he's near the north edge of Goldenrod. Just don't expect him to be very friendly — or look you in the eye. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[. . . I'll get the blood buckets.]

[Midori giggles.]

I'm an unrecognized genius at reading people, you see. I'm hiding it from the world so that they don't suspect how much I really know.

Fucking ace. You're not bad, for a mortal.

[MORE GIGGLES. YOU GET ALL OF THE GIGGLES, DAVE. ALL OF THEM.]

Well, you're not bad for a cosmic being~

. . . I've met a couple, and most of them suck. [OH, SMT UNIVERSES AND YOUR DEMONS AND ANGELS.]

[ Dave loves girls who giggle. ]

Sorry to hear. They can't all be as good as me, though. That's the kind of thing that destroys religions and ends eras.

[ He totally thinks she's just screwing around, ftr. ]

[And Midori loves cool kids :|a]

[She's grinning like an idiot.] Can I request some of this religion destroying? My gay friends would really appreciate it. [More giggles~]

[Oh, if only. She'll explain it to him someday.]

[ Another of those slightly-surprised laughs. ]

I'll see what I can do. That might be a subscriber-only feature, though, who knows.

[Aaand more giggles.]

Now, we talking magazine subscription, or internet? I mean, sometimes magazines give you free stuff when you join, so, hey, better ask for a clarification.

More like a subscription to the ironic ideals of the Holy House of Strider. The free stuff comes later, if you're good.

Ah! So it's a religion, then? Are you going to make me go door to door and tell people to accept our lord? And hand out sunglasses?

That'd be a good start. We can get into the whole 'eating the body of your god' thing later.

[ Good thing you can't see his face, Midori. He looks like a seriously smug asshole right now. ]

[Midori chokes a little and then laughs. Hysterically.] I honestly can't tell if that's a sex joke or if I'm supposed to chew on your arm!

[ He snorts. ] Protip: if it's either a sex joke or an invitation to cannibalism? It's a sex joke.

[Midori grins.] Hey hey hey, you never know with religion.

[ A short, amused laugh. ]

That's sure as hell true. You get some crazy kinds down South.

[Midori pauses for a moment.]

Have you talked to Hiro or Atsuro at all? Because where we come from, there's a religious cult with an awful lot of members who can summon demons... They were helping people, but there was something... off about it.

[ You can't see him, but Dave's eyebrow is creeping up his face. ]

Nope. Pretty sure most of the folks in Texas are just fanatics, though. People get real serious about religion down there.

I know it sounds crazy, but there really were demons...

I've heard, actually! I have a friend at school for America.

Not actually even gonna argue with you. I've heard crazier.

Where at in America?

Man, I know what you mean. I thought home was weird until I met the ponies...

Maine! I guess it's much hotter where you are, huh?

... Ponies?

Yeah, I... think Maine's pretty cold. [ Excuse him, he's trying to figure out 'ponies.' ]

There are people who apparently used to be ponies. My friend Rarity was originally a unicorn. . . . At first I thought this was otherkin nonsense, but, no, turns out that species swapping when you get here? Normal.

From what she says, yeah, yes it is!

[ The words 'ponies,' 'Rarity' and 'unicorn' ring a few bells for Dave, but he'll have to take a minute to figure out why. That's what's giving his voice the slightly distracted quality it has now. ]

Well, unicorns running around here are probably gonna get Pokéballs thrown at them, you've gotta figure....

[Midori laughs.] If they can teleport us here, I guess it makes sense that they can species swap... Apparently she's a seamstress, although I don't know how that works with the hooves...

She the only pony here, or what?

No, some of her friends from home are around! The only one I've talked to is a girl named Fluttershy.

[video]

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