strideways | > Dave: Cut a deal.

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> Dave: Cut a deal.

[ For once, the video clicks on, instead of the poor network being flooded with obnoxious red text. Dave is lounging in a chair, behind a café table somewhere in Goldenrod, with a bubble tea in one hand. ]

Ladies. Strider needs a favour.

[ Why yes, he's talking to all of you. Or any of you, really. ]

I'm willing to offer a few hours of my time to the first pretty girl to lend me her Fly HM. Dinner, on me, anywhere in Goldenrod.

[ A beat. ]

Dinner on the table, actually. But I'll pay for it.

[ He flashes the briefest of grins, one eyebrow cocking up above his shades — ]

Clock's ticking.

[— and turns the feed off. ]

[private to rose]

so when i said ill pay for it i obviously didnt mean me
also
how do you feel about ghost hunting

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

okay first of all
youre hotter than i am gay
trust me
i wasnt gonna mince words on that one

and secondly
i am outright fucking offended that you have any doubts
this plan is watertight
fireproof
and insured against earthquakes
ground starts shaking and everyone in the strider foolproof plan center just goes about their fucking business like aint nothin goin on
the fancy aquarium in the lobby doesnt spill a damn drop
lights dont even flicker
while folks outside are running amok because it turns out fucking godzilla is causing the cracks in the pavement and the building collapses
and that motherfucker shows up and takes one look at this plan and goes
oh shit
guess id better move on
not wasting my beastly time on this endeavor
its obviously rock fucking solid
and hauls his ass back to tokyo to fight a giant moth or some shit

[[Yeah, no comment on that first part.]]

[ See what happens when you make your brother choose between thinking you're hot and being gay? ]

a wise choice lalonde
a very wise choice

[[It's amusing that he'd admit to things like that though. She just has no comment because it would likely be some form of denial, and doesn't really want to have that conversation again.]]

so not even touching that statement lalonde
you make it too easy

All my choices are wise, Strider.
for real???
come on

trust me youll make plenty of unwise choices before youre through
though i guess i cant say whether youll regret them or not

time shenanigans
just trust me

sounds like a plan

you could use some work
but youre on your way

yours and every other girls
you could start a facebook group

well just so were clear
i totally got to him first
so if you dont wanna share
you can fight me

[ Oh my god, Rose. You should see your brother's face right now. ]

let me tell you a nursery rhyme lalonde
its one my bro used to tell me when i was just a chill little cat in the crib
went like this

there were three in the bed and only one of them was a chick
so strider said im getting the fuck out of here
later

[[She's tempted to switch to video. She's sure it's spectacular.]]

[ You know he'll take the challenge if she does. ]

okay fine

stupid sexy strider doesnt like the dick
hell do a threesome but only with two chicks
when it comes to cocks theres only one allowed
cause strider policy says four balls is a crowd

there
clear enough

[[Instead of replying right away, she switches instead to video, a grin worn on her lips.]]

Impressive. I almost find myself inspired to attempt a rhyme or two. Do you believe I would be any good at it?

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