strideways | > Dave: Be a mommy.

[ The feed opens to a bed in a Celadon Hotel room, currently largely occupied by a sizable clutch of eggs. There are ten of them, all told. In front of the bed lies a Houndoom, who appears to be sleeping. ]

Pretty much saw this coming. Would've happened sooner if Snoop didn't have some kind of fucking performance issues.

[ The Houndoom lifts his head, whining sharply. Bullshit, dude. Those ladies just like to play hard-to-get. ]

Anyway, Vulpix, Growlithe and Houndour. Should have a metric fuckton of egg moves on all of them, pretty much. Basically everything you could possibly want to fill your fire-breathing puppy needs. I know these needs are great.

[ He swivels the camera around to himself. He's sitting on the opposite bed, ostensibly not his. ]

P2500 for the Houndours, P1000 for everything else, and if you've got any Fire-types I don't, we can talk trades. Hot chicks take priority.

[ OOC; the OOC claim post is here! if you've already claimed one, you don't have to comment here, but you're welcome to! there are still slots open, so if you didn't respond to the OOC claim post before, you still can! exclamation points!! ]

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[Rikku heard 'puppy' and was sold. Fire-breathing's just a bonus!

So have a cheery blonde with an egg in her arms and a Pidgey harassing a Blitzle in the background]

What do they look like hatched?

[ Dave fusses in the background for a second before offering up a photograph to the camera — a Growlithe, Houndour and Vulpix, asleep in a pile. ]

There's Dad and his two arm candies. If they don't all look like one of those, I'm calling Pokémon Jerry Springer.

Jerry what?

[She smiles at the Vulpix]

Can I have one that'll hatch into the one with lots of tails?

It's basically a lot of trashy chicks crying while their ugly boyfriends throw chairs around and threaten innocent bystanders. Quality programming.

P1000 for the Vulpix eggs, yeah. Where are you at?

Cherrygrove! My name's Rikku.

Whoa there! Look at you there with all those fiery eggs. [She laughs a little.]

Pretty hot, right? [ Deadpanned. ]

[Lol. Funny boy. The pun does win a grin out of her.]

Like the pits of the underworld. Actually scratch that. [She shakes her head a little.]

So selling eggs, huh?

[ His eyebrows jerk up a bit (because seriously, the pits of the underworld?), but his expression stays mellow. ]

Yeah. Why, you interested?

Considering it. [She picks up the little dog shuffling around at her feet.] Already got one of the Houndours though. Do I really need another fire type?

I'm pretty much the opposite of the guy you wanna ask about that. Charizard, Houndoom, Arcanine, Flareon, Torchic, Ninetales, Ninetales, Ninetales....

I'm going to go out on a shaky limb here and guess that those are all fire types, huh?

[Finn, the little Houndour sniffs at the screen and licks it.] Hey!

Can never have too many fire types.

[ As if summoned, a Flareon pops his head into view to examine the Houndour pup. ]

[Finn barks cheerfully at the Flareon. Hi there, Friend, wanna play?]

Finn! I'm not sure about that. This little guy is as much of a handful as the kid I named him after. [A nostalgic smile at that. She misses Finn.]

[ Oh, yeah, cutie. Hot Stuff wants to play, all right. He swishes his tail coyly. ]

Well, two out of three parents involved in this little clusterfuck are chill as hell. Maybe you'd get lucky.

Hmmm, any recs chill dude? [Finn paws at the screen. There's something in the way new friend. D: ]

Well, if any of them are gonna be cool, it's gonna be a Vulpix. Their mom pretty much defines the line between 'lazy bitch' and 'chill chick.'

[ Hot Stuff turns himself around and swishes his tail at the camera, looking over his shoulder. This finally earns him Dave's attention, and gets him shoved off Dave's lap. ]

Skank.

Keep an eye out for a Murkrow with an orange ribbon and a basket. She'll bring you your egg and you can send back the cash.

What's a Murkrow?

You must be new. [ Deadpanned. ] It's a crow Pokémon.

Yeah, kinda. [She giggles] So look for a black bird with an orange ribbon and a basket. Got it! Thanks, uh....what's your name?

[Some time after Dave makes his post to the network, Jade returns to their hotel room. Where has she been? Who even knows.]

Hi, Dave! I'm back!

[She notes the pile of eggs which are presumably still on the bed.]

Any takers for any of those eggs yet?

Strider. Dave. And no problem. A guy's gotta make a living. [ Now that he's not in the same city as his sister, anyway. ]

A couple. Getting rid of a few Vulpix eggs, at least.

[ Dave is sprawled on Jade's bed, since his is clearly occupied, and shows no inclination to move anytime soon. ]

[there's a curious look on her face. :|a]

... Performance issues?

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> Dave: Be a mommy.

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[action] hope this is okay!

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[action] always!

video; shhhh this is not late shhhhhhhh