strideways | > Dave: Be the pied piper.

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> Dave: Be the pied piper.

[ Oh, look! A blurry thumb! The 'Gear is fumbled for a moment — looks like someone's having trouble holding onto it, or aiming it the right direction, at any rate.

When the camera steadies, the cameraman finally comes into view.

It's a bird! No, it's a... bunch of birds! It's... a really bad scarecrow?

Actually, it's Dave Strider. Guess who left his bird swag on?

Dave is almost literally covered in Murkrows. They're clinging to his clothes, perched all over his arms and his head and shoulders, sitting on his feet.... One of them, nestled in beneath his jaw on the right side, as cloooose as she can get, is wearing an orange ribbon around her neck. She looks like she's sulking. ]

Caught one of those dog Pokémon lurking around — Houndour, I guess. They're Fire- and Dark-type.

[ He's apparently determined to pretend the crows aren't even fucking there, because when one of them pecks at the 'Gear, he just moves it aside slightly and continues in the same tone of voice. ]

Was battling with my Gyarados, but I actually had to break out Tock to knock out a couple of them before I found one that wasn't level Fuck You, Strider. We're probably lucky they're not aggressive.

[ The ribboned Murkrow on his shoulder suddenly puffs herself up and lashes out at her neighbour, scattering a few crows for all of twenty seconds. They settle back down, with Dave's Murkrow looking unhappier than ever.

A few crows are lifted in front of the camera as he raises his left arm. If you're watching closely, he reaches up to scratch lightly at his Murkrow's talon. ]

And I'm pretty sure I saw a Gengar earlier. Those weren't around here before.

[ This is effectively a query: anyone know what's going on?

Before he can actually ask, though (if he was even going to), a bird on his left shoulder makes a grab for his shades. Dave jerks his head away, and his own Murkrow snatches at the sunglasses from the opposite side.

The 'Gear clatters to the ground, landing faceup and with an excellent, if fleeting, view of a crow flying off, an orange ribbon around her neck and a pair of sunglasses in one claw. A moment later, a hand covers the camera completely, and the feed shuts off. ]

[ Feel free to approach; he's near the north edge of Goldenrod. Just don't expect him to be very friendly — or look you in the eye. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

oh yeah
the king of irony
his royal majesty dave fucking strider
everything the light touches is my kingdom
did i forget to mention that part

haha yeah
now youre getting it

thats cash
i am one majestic motherfucker
dave mufasa strider at your service

no baby striders here
luxio is as small as ive got
seems appropriate though
and i think we can agree ive got zazu covered

[ The feed clicks back on in response to her question, but the camera isn't on Dave. It's focused on the ground, where a Pokéball drops, bounces once and releases, in a flash, an energetic little lion. She peers up into the 'Gear, and her pleased rumbling becomes quickly audible.

Dave speaks from behind the 'Gear. ]

Apropos, right? A little big, though.

[Midori squeals happily.] Oh, she's cute! [And here's some giggling.] And that's about as appropriate as we're gonna get, huh?~

Yeah, I'd say so.

[ Dave reaches into view to scratch the Luxio behind the ears, and she cants her head happily into his hand. ]

[Midori laughs.] You know, I'm starting to think you really are secretly Mufasa. All that sunglasses stuff? It's to hide the cat eyes. I've discovered your secret, Dave Strider~

[Also, if it seems like she's flirting with you, Dave, she is. Who cares if he's younger, he doesn't act younger.]

[ Of course she's flirting with him. Why wouldn't she? He's Dave Mufasa Strider. ]

Oh, shit. Look, you can't tell anyone about that. It's been a closely-guarded secret all my life. We're talking heavily redacted medical records, hiring hitmen for my optometrists, real serious CIA-level encryption here. In fact, I should kill you right now, but you're pretty cute, so I might make an exception if you promise not to say anything.

[I probably shouldn't be shipping this. :| ]

[GIGGLEFIT.] I will guard your secret with my life~ But! Only if you promise to give me wise advice from the clouds when I have doubts~

[ shh, shhh shh shh. I won't tell if you won't. ]

Oh, absolutely. You ever have a question, you just look up in the sky and I'll be right there, my bad self immortalized in condensed water vapor, ready to give you the answer. I've got all the answers. All of them.

[Our little secret? :D? . . . EXCEPT THAT KIA TOTALLY KNOWS, DAMN.]

You're like... cosmic google, in ironic lion form.

[ We'll have to kill her. :|a ]

[ Now that they're on video, she can hear him laugh, a note of surprise in the sound. ]

Yeah, that's exactly fucking it. Probably the best summary yet. Most people can't wrap Dave Strider up in six words, so congrats.

[. . . I'll get the blood buckets.]

[Midori giggles.]

I'm an unrecognized genius at reading people, you see. I'm hiding it from the world so that they don't suspect how much I really know.

Fucking ace. You're not bad, for a mortal.

[MORE GIGGLES. YOU GET ALL OF THE GIGGLES, DAVE. ALL OF THEM.]

Well, you're not bad for a cosmic being~

. . . I've met a couple, and most of them suck. [OH, SMT UNIVERSES AND YOUR DEMONS AND ANGELS.]

[ Dave loves girls who giggle. ]

Sorry to hear. They can't all be as good as me, though. That's the kind of thing that destroys religions and ends eras.

[ He totally thinks she's just screwing around, ftr. ]

[And Midori loves cool kids :|a]

[She's grinning like an idiot.] Can I request some of this religion destroying? My gay friends would really appreciate it. [More giggles~]

[Oh, if only. She'll explain it to him someday.]

[ Another of those slightly-surprised laughs. ]

I'll see what I can do. That might be a subscriber-only feature, though, who knows.

[Aaand more giggles.]

Now, we talking magazine subscription, or internet? I mean, sometimes magazines give you free stuff when you join, so, hey, better ask for a clarification.

More like a subscription to the ironic ideals of the Holy House of Strider. The free stuff comes later, if you're good.

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